Hidden messages

Posted by Redshield at 9:05 pm

Its about time I did a post on hidden messages in popular music. Think that the words you read mean what they say. Think again newbie. It is well known, for instance, that Gerry Rafferty’s hit ‘Stuck in the middle with you’ is about attending a Satanist orgy in 1972 with Henry Kissinger and a lesser known member of Soul Band ‘Hot Chocolate’. Satanist messages in Lady gaga are so easy to decipher they should become standard primary school curriculum, and you would have to be one Boeing 747 short of a 9/11 to miss the fact that Rebecca Black’s Friday is about a Druid Youth Meeting. Seriously guys, this is hardly as difficult as building a Tesla coil in your nans garage. Its simple. Illuminati + Music Business = Coded messages and very, very bad music.

Hand signs are another way in which Illuminati semiotics is communicated. Ever wondered why rap artists make silly hand gestures, or the boy with the greasy hair and a long leather jacket makes the horns. Rather than being the pathetic attempt of different subcultures to form some kind of group identity, (even if said gestures do look like your simultaneously performing four prostate checkups), these signs are ways of infiltrating your malleable, fluoride softened brain you posioned NWO dwarf!

This is why I have decided to listen only to a brutal mix of 20’s dixieland, black metal and klezmer. Shalom friends, shalom

Forthcoming work

Posted by Redshield at 5:25 pm

Im just updating the blog to tell everybody about how a very nice man called Tom german (bit of a cock actually) has agreed to ghostwrite some stories about my life. We are unsure at this moment what form these stories will take, but keep checking the EKCAPA website for updates on fighting the moon, uncovering local plots in the WI and searching for the 9!

Japan earthquake caused by Julian Assange and Peter Mandelson

Posted by Redshield at 8:16 pm

After having spent the last 2 or 3 months being beaten with sticks in a Libyan jail by colonel Gaddafi and snooker legend Steve Davis, redshield is back with more explanations of the world and its beings, and, moreover, the beings that run the world. Firstly the uprisings have mostly been the fault of the Provisional IRA dressing up in Egyptian garb funded by Mossad, the CIA, the rotary club, the BBC, Hythe Bowls Club and an unknown Somerset quiz team. Secondly the Japanese earthquake was not caused by massive shifts in the earth’s tectonic plates, but by rapeogeddon antipodean perv and founder of Wikileaks Julian Assange and lizard man Peter Mandelson holed up in a sub, letting off tsunamis in between hating children and kicking the old. This is just another reason to hate Julian Assange, the stick thin, busybody, upside down pez dispenser, and his team of spotty faced amateurs at Wikilurks. Now they are responsible for death as well as bad journalism. Dont read Wikileaks, read EKCAPA. Do I need any facts for these accusations, facts are for wimps and lizards,

Love,
Redshield

Giants and Witches responsible for 9/11

Posted by Redshield at 6:05 pm

September 11th cause by Giants and Witches
Redshield must apologise for his absence. You may have been aware of the student riots that took place later last year. I may have been involved. I may have emptied pipe ash onto a Policemans’ helmet calling him ‘PC Firehead’ as I did it. I may have been arrested and talked my captors round to my way of thinking whilst inside. Or, I may have just been snowed under with work over the past few months.
Either way, I’m back and very, very angry. Far from the world being better after my incarceration, as the judge assured me it would be, it’s only bloody well gone and got worse. I had been wondering a lot about September 11th recently . Was it an inside job? Why is the ‘Conspiracy diet’ not served on planes alongside Kosher and Halal? Why is smoking a Churchwarden filled with potent Latakia blend in a nursery a problem?
It then struck me that while plenty of government agencies have been connected with September the 11th, nobody has implicated any supernatural beings. For instance, far from the collapse of the buildings following the pattern of a demolition, I feel it looks like a classic case of a Giant, positioned in a secret Mossad Cave sucking it into his belly.
Equally, Pentagon plane attack? Get lost! It was a clearly a group of witches in Norfolk whipping up a cone of power. So, in short, giants and witches in the pay of Mossad or the IRA, or the CIA or the FBI or MI6 or the Scouts, paying Witches and Giants money to smash things up. Sounds like Bildeberg weekend to me. Let it marinade. Now welcome to flavour country, the air sure is clear up here……..

Crp circles Explained

Posted by Redshield at 9:25 am

I know in this period of freezing HAARP weather control induced ’snow’, I shouldn’t be talking about the Summer’s greatest mystery, the crop circle, but I hate Christmas and snow, so I will. Whilst puffing away on a pipe and enjoying a pint of ‘Revenge of the Lincolnshire Pharaohs’ by the Trapped Nerve Brewery from Brompton North, I stumbled upon a brilliant idea. What if Crop Circles, rather than being made by peaceful aliens in skintight spacesuits, promising peace to a soundtrack of pan pipes, are actually made by bread companies, to give arable farming an aura of mystery. To be fair, arable farming is hardly the most glamorous job in the world, and I swear I once saw a crop circle in Wiltshire that spelt out ‘Hovis’. Much like projecting ads onto the moon, crop circles are the new viral marketing. This however, by no means explains the vast majority of crop circles, which are clearly made by greys who have an unncecessary obsession with anal probing and the south-west of England.

Doctors Kill You with their idiotic notions

Posted by Redshield at 8:04 pm

Redshield today discovered a hideous Conspiracy within the medical establishment. Doctors, actually get paid by the government. Redshield had believed up to this point in his life, naive as he is, that doctors were breakaway Satanist paedos, living in the hills off nuts and berries, and breaking into hospitals to cut people up in bloody, ‘operation’ rituals. Little did he know that they are funded by an organisation based on the moon (see last weeks blog post) known as the NHS, that’s full title is Nothing Happening Sexual Here, Honest. Redshield today, assaulted a number of doctors on a ‘Golf Course’, pelting them with beer mats and accusing them of abominable crimes. He was removed by a Lizard groundskeeper. So investigate at your peril brethren. Love,
Redshield

Phone mystery lizards moon base catastrophe

Posted by Redshield at 8:48 am

Hello dears,
There has been a certain level of internet furore started by a man called H.G Wells, concerning the use of a phone in a Charlie Chaplin movie.This is not new to Redshield. Watch out for the use of a pogo stick in Casablanca, a Segue in Steamboat Willie, and USB ports all over the spaceship in 2001: A Space Odyssey! David Icke solved the mystery in his latest breathtaking masterpiece, ‘World Get off your knees!’ He argued that the moon is actually a hollowed out space station, used by the lizards to control the Matrix. It is clear to me that somewhere in the Sea of Tranquility, there is a transmitting station run by a couple of hybrids, deliberately putting tiny clues and inconsistencies into films, for hard working Conspiracy Theorists to find. If I was running a One World Government I’d leave clues everywhere like a Orienteering course for men in leather hats. So thank you H.G Wells for your kind tip, stay in touch.

Stay safe,

Redshield

Tantric Scrabble

Posted by Redshield at 6:20 am

Redshield and the Chartham Yoda have discovered a fabulous new board game based on the dull, mind – conformist game Scrabble. When you ally the game Scrabble with a sprinkling of Psychopomping, a touch of cliched Native American Handwaving, a bit of Witch Doctoring and than chanting the name ‘Alastair Campbell’ over an over, a portal to the Otherworld opens up were the central square of the Scrabble board is, and you can see the truth of World History. You can than play the major Lizards and Lizard/Human Hybrids in a game of Conspiracy Theory Scrabble. The problem is that you tend to rather like the Lizards and briefly become distracted from your quest to smash their attempts at World Domination. Fortunately, reading a couple of David Icke masterpieces soon puts you back on the right track…..

Government responsible for everything

Posted by Redshield at 7:13 pm

Redshield has discovered recently discovered that the government is responsible for absolutely everything. The last possible pocket of responsibility was actually contained in Bermondsey, but it was given away voluntarily in a fit of generosity. The government is officially now responsibloe for every single act that occurs on the British mainland and plenty of others that happen in other countries. Next week tune in to find out what MOSSAD is responsible for….

Cones of Power and Psychopomping

Posted by Redshield at 6:38 pm

Recently, the Chartham Yoda, Redshield and Bluechip have become furiously interested in the ancient Celtic sciences of whipping up ‘Cones of Power’, and Psychopomping. Here are Redshields definitions:

Whipping up a cone of power – Summoning up a large amount of psychic energy in a group through mass ritual, and then sending it at some problem or perceived obstacle (see Psychic Shitstorm). Gerald Gardner the founder of modern Wicca sent a ‘cone of power’ at Hitler in 1939. Hitler died in 1945. Proof.

Psychopomping – Psychopomping is a Shamanic technique of ferrying souls to the Otherworld, the role taken on in Mythology by the Psychopomp. Famous Psychopomps include Charon who ferries souls across the River Styx, and Michael Winner.

This interest has led us down some sinister paths. Redshield and the gang have recently started up the practice of Psychopomping as an excuse to enter the Otherworld on a Vision Quest, and than seriously upsetting spirits there. This is a practice we have named the Psychic Shitstorm, and it almost certainly led to leaking roof in Norwich, and the possession of a Councillor in Bradford.

So be careful and be aware. Dont upset us as we have the potent combination of enormous supernatural power, chronic immaturity and alchohol problems.

Love,
Redshield