Crp circles Explained

Posted by Redshield at 9:25 am

I know in this period of freezing HAARP weather control induced ’snow’, I shouldn’t be talking about the Summer’s greatest mystery, the crop circle, but I hate Christmas and snow, so I will. Whilst puffing away on a pipe and enjoying a pint of ‘Revenge of the Lincolnshire Pharaohs’ by the Trapped Nerve Brewery from Brompton North, I stumbled upon a brilliant idea. What if Crop Circles, rather than being made by peaceful aliens in skintight spacesuits, promising peace to a soundtrack of pan pipes, are actually made by bread companies, to give arable farming an aura of mystery. To be fair, arable farming is hardly the most glamorous job in the world, and I swear I once saw a crop circle in Wiltshire that spelt out ‘Hovis’. Much like projecting ads onto the moon, crop circles are the new viral marketing. This however, by no means explains the vast majority of crop circles, which are clearly made by greys who have an unncecessary obsession with anal probing and the south-west of England.